Diary Part 3 SOMEONE SAVE ME

Ok this is really sucks, in one mounth, I lose my boyfriend, my best friend and some important friends, now  I'm just a lonely, my grandma told me that everything happens for a reason, well  I would like to know those fucking reasons!!
My boyfriend died 1 mounth ago....and I'm here on my corner like....yeah..no one will care about you..
I don't really have a reason to live...and that makes me think...why the hell I still alive?...
Tough of suicide many times...but seems like when I try, someone is always there to stop me..
And that's annoying...
No one knows how I feel...I wish I could find someone who really will  give me a reason to live..
But I won't find that someone...
I give up on everything..nothing is worth...
Wish I could be like those pretty girls...I'm sure life would change alot...
But like my grandma say.....you can't be something that you can't be..

LIFE'S SUCKS!!
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Diary Part 1

Yesterday I get sad, my cousin's friends  make fun of me because I am fat and I always eat.
Well, sometimes when I'm going home, I always say on my mind..."You guys don't need to come if you don't want"...they always have that face that they don't want to come with me...
When I arrive home I immadiatly go to my computer...I saw a message of many guys calling me ugly and they showed me a pic of me on a page...the whole page make fun of me...and I cried...
I always ask God  why??....Why I can't be beautiful...and I start crying...
I upload a video of me on youtube, many people told me that I was ugly....just saw those comments...
Well I delete it...
I saw many girls making video of them, taking pictures, making sucess without help...
And me here...I can't do nothing...
Some of my friends always say to me that they are always there for me...but...no..
They are never there when I need them...
I just have my Teddie and my music....they yes......they were always there...
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When I was 5 years old, I had no friends, I was very lonely and was always sad, I was very shy, was chubby, and always thinking that I  was ugly (until today still think I'm ugly), people were very bad for me they beat me, called me names, I felt different of them. At 8 years age, everything continued, very bad things happened to me ( I don't want to say what happened because is an one secret and wanna you to save for me), I had to do a decision, I decided to be rude to people. Since I started being rude, people spoke bad things
of me behind my back, they were afraid of me. At age 11 had moved to high school, and there at least people were not too bad to me, had fallen in love with a boy at school, he was dear and fluffy and was named Rodrigo. He rejected my love for him, and it hurt me ... I spent days crying in the corners of the school. Two years later, I moved to Luxembourg, on the first day of classes there, everything that happened to me before it happened again, I was tired, very tired of people who thought me a lot. But I had made a couple of friends, they were very beautiful and were friendlies with me and I jealous because I thought I was ugly ... but no matter now. People do not liked me .. well some hated me, but I learned to show them a middle finger and give them a beautiful smile ... how I liked it.
Well here is the story of my past, still has a lot about me, but I liked to keep to myself
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Welcome to my blog :)

Hey guys :) Welcome to my blog
Hum, on this blog I will tell about my life, how my life is going and yeah
My english isn't good at all, I think so
But I hope you guys understand about my life and give me some advices, because I really need it
Well it's just like a diary for me this blog
I make a fail it's not 1998 but yes 2013 :/ but whatever now
Thanks for reading :)
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